Category Archives: I should probably just apologize ahead of time

Five Things You Thought You Knew About Moms Who Blog (but are completely false)

I’m a mom. I’m also a blogger. But I’m not really a mommy blogger. A quick peek at my archives would lead a lot of people to think that I’m full of shit, just like the time your elementary math … Continue reading

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Posted in Boo, Family, I should probably just apologize ahead of time, Internetland, Would it kill you to comment? | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 19 Comments

Samuel L. Jackson wants your kids to Go The (Bleep) to Sleep.

IF I wasn’t riddled with latent Catholic fear of spending the rest of eternity in Hell…. and IF I wasn’t worried about the damage it would do to Boo’s delicate 2 year-old psyche… and IF I wasn’t absolutely certain he … Continue reading

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Posted in Boo, Family, I should probably just apologize ahead of time, Internetland, No one else will think this is funny, Not nearly as offensive as it sounds | Tagged , , , , , , , | 10 Comments

I bet Jesus would have used HIS turn signal.

Y’all, I’m pretty sure I saw Jesus today at Walmart. So there Boo and I were, circling the parking lot for a spot close enough to the door so that the heat wouldn’t melt out our eyeballs Raiders of the … Continue reading

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Posted in Boo, I should probably just apologize ahead of time, No one else will think this is funny, Only Vaguely Offensive, Weirdness | Tagged , , , , , , | 5 Comments

As God is my witness, I shall never again speak of what transpired tonight.

I have a good kid. I do. But sometimes… Sometimes I think he’s sneaking out of the house to cavort with feral pigs and vodoo priestesses in the moonlight while Red and I sleep. There’s no other way to explain … Continue reading

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Posted in Boo, Family, I should probably just apologize ahead of time, No one else will think this is funny, Red | Tagged , , , , | 10 Comments

Clearly, I’ve got my priorities in order.

Today has been an eventful one, weather wise. Early this morning, the Storm Prediction Center in Norman, Oklahoma, issued a Potentially Dangerous Situation tornado watch for our entire area, with a big red bullseye painted right over the top of … Continue reading

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Posted in Boo, Family, I should probably just apologize ahead of time, Internetland, No one else will think this is funny, Red | Tagged , , , , , , , | 14 Comments

Congratulations! If you’re reading this, you’re a filthy heathen.

Guess what? WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE. Soon(ish). Maybe. Probably. At some point. Because you know, the rapture is supposed to happen at 6:00 PM today. But… It’s after 6:00 in most of the world, and we’re all still here. As … Continue reading

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Posted in Family, I should probably just apologize ahead of time, Nerdness, No one else will think this is funny, Red | Tagged , , , , , , , | 10 Comments

Feelings? I has them.

And preshus, these feelings? They has been bruised. I’ve never been a very popular person. Part of that is due to my somewhat, ahem, abrasive nature. To put it bluntly, a lot of people think I’m a bitch. But I’m … Continue reading

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Posted in I should probably just apologize ahead of time, Internetland, Nerdness, No one else will think this is funny, Ranty rant | Tagged , , , , , | 21 Comments

BOB’s good vibrations and the reason I’m probably going to Hell.

Breaking news from the New York Times: women really like their vibrators. I had to dig through a lot of pseudoscientific talkyspeak, but the article boiled down to the fact that over 50% of American women have vibrators AND use … Continue reading

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Posted in I should probably just apologize ahead of time, Mature, Mom Don't Read This, Only Vaguely Offensive, The Month of Blogging Dangerously | Tagged , , , , , | 13 Comments

Jesus is Risen. Now let the party begin.

Happy Zombie Jesus day, y’all! I’m off to spend the day with my family. The weather is kind of crappy, so we’ll be hunting Easter eggs inside this year. Which is probably a good thing for the Easter Bunny, since … Continue reading

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Posted in Boo, Family, I should probably just apologize ahead of time, No one else will think this is funny, Only Vaguely Offensive, The Month of Blogging Dangerously, Weirdness | Tagged , , , , , , | 4 Comments