Category Archives: Only Vaguely Offensive

I bet Jesus would have used HIS turn signal.

Y’all, I’m pretty sure I saw Jesus today at Walmart. So there Boo and I were, circling the parking lot for a spot close enough to the door so that the heat wouldn’t melt out our eyeballs Raiders of the … Continue reading

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Posted in Boo, I should probably just apologize ahead of time, No one else will think this is funny, Only Vaguely Offensive, Weirdness | Tagged , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Putting the ‘F’ Back in ‘Freedom’

Last night, I watched our President address the world and confirm the death of Osama bin Laden. Many other bloggers are taking this time to write something serious and patriotic, but all I can really do is hum the theme … Continue reading

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Posted in Internetland, Nerdness, No one else will think this is funny, Only Vaguely Offensive, Weirdness | Tagged , , , , , , | 10 Comments

BOB’s good vibrations and the reason I’m probably going to Hell.

Breaking news from the New York Times: women really like their vibrators. I had to dig through a lot of pseudoscientific talkyspeak, but the article boiled down to the fact that over 50% of American women have vibrators AND use … Continue reading

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Posted in I should probably just apologize ahead of time, Mature, Mom Don't Read This, Only Vaguely Offensive, The Month of Blogging Dangerously | Tagged , , , , , | 13 Comments

Jesus is Risen. Now let the party begin.

Happy Zombie Jesus day, y’all! I’m off to spend the day with my family. The weather is kind of crappy, so we’ll be hunting Easter eggs inside this year. Which is probably a good thing for the Easter Bunny, since … Continue reading

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Posted in Boo, Family, I should probably just apologize ahead of time, No one else will think this is funny, Only Vaguely Offensive, The Month of Blogging Dangerously, Weirdness | Tagged , , , , , , | 4 Comments

I need a young priest and an old priest. And maybe some Ghostbusters.

I joke a lot about religion. Maybe too much. And, um,  I think someone might have noticed. ***** If there’s one thing I’m afraid of, it’s the things we can’t see. Like germs. And ghosts. And the real agendas of … Continue reading

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Posted in Boo, Family, Nerdness, No one else will think this is funny, Only Vaguely Offensive, Red, The Month of Blogging Dangerously, Weirdness | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | 20 Comments

Back off, Judgy McJudgerson

So right after I published the Writing Assignment post just a little while ago, I got this message when I tried to share it on Facebook:Apparently someone thinks that I’m abusive (read: offensive) or spammy. What the hell? Seriously. If … Continue reading

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Posted in Internetland, Only Vaguely Offensive, Ranty rant, The Month of Blogging Dangerously | Tagged , , , , , , , | 7 Comments

So a man walks into a bar with a monkey. I forgot the rest of the joke, but your mom is a whore.

I’ve never been a fan of Saturday Night Live. In my entire 26 years, I think I’ve seen three or four episodes start to finish, and those were all from the Chris Farley/Adam Sandler/David Spade era. Nothing about all the … Continue reading

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Posted in Just Plain Offensive, Nerdness, No one else will think this is funny, Only Vaguely Offensive, The Month of Blogging Dangerously, Weirdness | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Cirque du Circumcision

Recently, Red and I were talking about the possibility of having more kids. You know, a few years from now when the one we’ve got ceases to act like a slavering bull terrier in heat and more like the ridiculously … Continue reading

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Posted in Boo, Family, Only Vaguely Offensive, Red, Weirdness | 10 Comments

A Zombie’s Guide to Lent

So I see one commercial for the Walking Dead yesterday and I’m plagued by zombie apocalypse dreams all night long. We’re not talking about the slow, stupid zombies, either. These zombies all were all fast motherfuckers who looked like Mary … Continue reading

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Posted in Only Vaguely Offensive | 12 Comments