Category Archives: Red

UPDATED: The Break In

It’s something you never think will happen to you. Your entire life has been spent in a cocoon of privilege, in a land of minivans and green soccer fields and semi-suburban tranquility. You’ve never known honest to God, piss your … Continue reading

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Posted in Boo, Family, Heavy, Red, Stories | Tagged , , , , , | 8 Comments

I’m here. I’m alive. And I’m scared.

So, yeah. I haven’t written in a long time. Too long. Sorry. My creative energy has been totally nonexistent lately. I’ve lost my mojo. In the writing department, anyway. I lost my job with Charm and… Kapoof. It was gone. … Continue reading

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Posted in Boo, Casper the unfriendly ghost, Cat Lady Confessions, Family, Red, Stories, Weirdness | Tagged , , , , , | 3 Comments

As God is my witness, I shall never again speak of what transpired tonight.

I have a good kid. I do. But sometimes… Sometimes I think he’s sneaking out of the house to cavort with feral pigs and vodoo priestesses in the moonlight while Red and I sleep. There’s no other way to explain … Continue reading

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Posted in Boo, Family, I should probably just apologize ahead of time, No one else will think this is funny, Red | Tagged , , , , | 10 Comments

Clearly, I’ve got my priorities in order.

Today has been an eventful one, weather wise. Early this morning, the Storm Prediction Center in Norman, Oklahoma, issued a Potentially Dangerous Situation tornado watch for our entire area, with a big red bullseye painted right over the top of … Continue reading

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Posted in Boo, Family, I should probably just apologize ahead of time, Internetland, No one else will think this is funny, Red | Tagged , , , , , , , | 14 Comments

Congratulations! If you’re reading this, you’re a filthy heathen.

Guess what? WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE. Soon(ish). Maybe. Probably. At some point. Because you know, the rapture is supposed to happen at 6:00 PM today. But… It’s after 6:00 in most of the world, and we’re all still here. As … Continue reading

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Posted in Family, I should probably just apologize ahead of time, Nerdness, No one else will think this is funny, Red | Tagged , , , , , , , | 10 Comments

Mama Didn’t Raise No Fool

So this week (this last week, any way) has been awful. Turns out I’ve got a sinus infection that makes me hack up green snot. I’ve lost the sense of taste. I can’t smell a damned thing. Red won’t look … Continue reading

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Posted in Boo, Family, Internetland, Nerdness, No one else will think this is funny, Red | Tagged , , , , , | 3 Comments

License to Ill

It’s hard to write this without sounding petty and childish, but…. WAH! AM SICK. WANT MY MOMMY. It doesn’t help that Boo is sick, too. The Three Ring Mom house is a veritable incubator of viral plague, so anyone who … Continue reading

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Posted in Boo, Casper the unfriendly ghost, No one else will think this is funny, Ranty rant, Red | Tagged , , , , , , | 18 Comments

There’s no place like home.

An actual conversation I had with Red today: Red: The guy at the liquor store liked your nail polish. Chelsie: Yeah. So? Red: That means one of three things. Chelsie: — Red: One, he was hitting on you. Two, he … Continue reading

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Posted in Red, The Month of Blogging Dangerously, Weirdness | Tagged , , , , , | 3 Comments

Dear Casper: You’re really f*cking up my mojo.

This ghost thing? Will. Not. Quit. Now I’m scared AND pissed. That’s not a good combination for a person with a history of extreme mood swings THANKYOUVERYMUCH. I vacillate between wanting to completely ignore everything one moment and then fighting … Continue reading

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Posted in Big Fricking Deal, Boo, Casper the unfriendly ghost, Family, No one else will think this is funny, Red, The Month of Blogging Dangerously, Weirdness | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 7 Comments

The one where my heart almost stopped

Anyone who knows me in real life knows that I am not the most calm, rational person on the planet. I like to think I am in possession of an overabundance of common sense, but the truth is that in … Continue reading

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Posted in Boo, Family, No one else will think this is funny, Red, The Month of Blogging Dangerously | Tagged , , , , , | 8 Comments