Tag Archives: family

UPDATED: The Break In

It’s something you never think will happen to you. Your entire life has been spent in a cocoon of privilege, in a land of minivans and green soccer fields and semi-suburban tranquility. You’ve never known honest to God, piss your … Continue reading

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Posted in Boo, Family, Heavy, Red, Stories | Tagged , , , , , | 8 Comments

Five Things You Thought You Knew About Moms Who Blog (but are completely false)

I’m a mom. I’m also a blogger. But I’m not really a mommy blogger. A quick peek at my archives would lead a lot of people to think that I’m full of shit, just like the time your elementary math … Continue reading

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Posted in Boo, Family, I should probably just apologize ahead of time, Internetland, Would it kill you to comment? | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 19 Comments

Dear Three Year-Old

Happy birthday! Around this time in 2009, my body was forcibly evicting your from the only home you had ever known, and you weren’t happy about it. (I don’t blame you, though. You had it good in there, what with … Continue reading

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Posted in Boo, Family | Tagged , , , , | 1 Comment

The Naked Man

I don’t know how mornings go in your house, but around here we have a little routine. When the childling wakes up at an ungodly hour that I dare not speak aloud, he bellows one of three things that are … Continue reading

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Posted in Boo, No one else will think this is funny, Not nearly as offensive as it sounds, Weirdness | Tagged , , , | 2 Comments

Beauty Double Dare: Going Bare Down There

Not so long ago, I worked for Charm Fashion Agency and my editor trusted me enough to let me write what I wanted. This is what she got. There’s nothing sexy about at-home hair removal. Commercials romanticize it, depicting a … Continue reading

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Posted in Not nearly as offensive as it sounds | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

I’m here. I’m alive. And I’m scared.

So, yeah. I haven’t written in a long time. Too long. Sorry. My creative energy has been totally nonexistent lately. I’ve lost my mojo. In the writing department, anyway. I lost my job with Charm and… Kapoof. It was gone. … Continue reading

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Posted in Boo, Casper the unfriendly ghost, Cat Lady Confessions, Family, Red, Stories, Weirdness | Tagged , , , , , | 3 Comments

Someone hold muh earrings. This could get ugly.

Today was a good day. Even the part where I almost had to cut a woman at the children’s playground in the mall. But more on that later. My furry best friend is back. He’s been living with my parents … Continue reading

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Posted in Boo, Cat Lady Confessions, Family, Internetland, Nerdness, No one else will think this is funny | Tagged , , , , , , | 9 Comments

Everybody should believe in something. I believe I’ll have another drink.

Someone once told me that if you can name three positive things that happened during the day, everything isn’t as bad as it sounds in your head. So far, these are my positives for today: 1) At the moment,  I’m … Continue reading

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Posted in Anger!, Boo, Family, No one else will think this is funny | Tagged , , , , , | 8 Comments

All Hail the Penis of Madagascar

Y’all, we’ve got a problem. And it sounds a whole lot like the word penis. My two-year old has an incredibly expansive vocabulary. He’s both articulate and expressive. Long gone are the days when Red and I sat around the … Continue reading

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Posted in Boo, Family, No one else will think this is funny, Not nearly as offensive as it sounds | Tagged , , , , , | 8 Comments

Clearly, I’ve got my priorities in order.

Today has been an eventful one, weather wise. Early this morning, the Storm Prediction Center in Norman, Oklahoma, issued a Potentially Dangerous Situation tornado watch for our entire area, with a big red bullseye painted right over the top of … Continue reading

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Posted in Boo, Family, I should probably just apologize ahead of time, Internetland, No one else will think this is funny, Red | Tagged , , , , , , , | 14 Comments